Issue 187: Training for one of the best roles I’ll ever have

I spend at least a day a week with 3-year-old Sophia, laughing, dancing, running, singing and often dropping into Be Well for a visit. It’s literally the best day of my week.

More and more of my friends are becoming grandparents at 60+, usually because our own kids are having children later in life. Across Australia and globally, people are becoming grandparents nearly a decade later than our parents did.

Not everyone has children, or their kids live overseas, or grandchildren just haven’t come along. I know that. But I also know plenty of people who’ve built the exact same bond with nieces, nephews or the neighbour’s kids they’ve ‘adopted’ over the years. If that’s you, this is for you too.

Last month I was MCing a conference in Canberra, and one of our Indigenous Elders opened it. She spoke proudly about her grandchildren studying at that same university, then laughed and said she loves her own kids, but loves her grandkids even more.

There’s real science behind that feeling. A 19 year study from Boston College found kids with close grandparent bonds grow up with lower rates of anxiety, depression and behavioural issues, because time with a grandparent lowers a child’s stress hormones and releases oxytocin, the same bonding chemical you get between a parent and newborn.

Research from Emory University found something else: children who know their family stories, the ones only grandparents seem to tell, grow up with noticeably higher self esteem and resilience. Knowing where you fit in a bigger story gives you something to stand on when life gets hard.

We often joke that being a grandparent is ‘all care, no responsibility’, not quite, but parents handle the discipline, the routine, the boundaries. Grandparents get to be the safe harbour, the person a kid feels completely accepted by, no conditions attached.

I have discovered every day with a grandchild is full of little joys: big and small advances in confidence, deep and curious conversations, boundless energy and unconditional love.

Learn their language, literally. Pick up a few words of whatever language your grandchild is learning, at school or at home. Kids light up when the adult in the room is the one struggling to get it right for once, and it’s genuinely good for your brain, one of the most studied ways to keep your mind sharp as you age.

Let them teach you tech. Ask your grandchild to show you their favourite app or game instead of the other way around. It flips the usual dynamic, they get to be the expert, and you get a window into how they think and play.

Learn something physical together. Sophia & I love trampolining and we have been doing yoga together since she could crawl. Kids remember the grandparent who tried, wobbled, fell over laughing and got back up far more than the one who watched from a safe distance.

Cook, make or build things together. Get outside and get your hands dirty. Experiment! Let them choose their own adventure and see what happens. It’s fine motor skills for them and a good laugh for you.

Start a running joke or a secret handshake. Something just between the two of you gives the relationship its own private language. They’ll still remember at 16, 18 & 25 when they need it the most.

Become the storyteller. David’s father lived with us for a few years and his job was to read the kids stories every night. He made up stories about them in Africa and they Loved it! You can tell stories from where you came from, what you were like at their age, what you got wrong, what scared you. You can also use AI to create stories. I am writing one for Sophia right now

Today’s grandkids need a co-adventurer, and building train tracks on the floor or lifting a toddler overhead or keeping pace at the park doesn’t happen without some real physical capacity behind it.

Muscle keeps my energy steady through a full day of chasing Sophia around instead of crashing by 3pm. Cardio and movement sharpen reflexes, which matters enormously when a toddler suddenly bolts for the road and mobility work in the hips, knees and spine means getting down onto the floor to play, and back up again, costs me nothing the next day.

Our grandchildren get an anchor, a sense of who they are and where they belong. We get purpose, sharper minds and a very good reason to stay in shape.

We’re not training for ourselves anymore. We’re training so we can keep up, get down on the floor and go the distance with the people who matter to us.

Here’s to the new, or older, little loves of your life and to staying young enough to enjoy every minute of it

See you at Be Well again soon.